Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
