I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's rum buckets o'clock
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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