lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
