I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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