roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So much rum. So many feels.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
