So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
