I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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