I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
