Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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