i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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