so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
