i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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