Don't you send me to vm
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
