What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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