Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
