i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
