i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my shit smells like andre
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
