I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
