My friends, they love my intelligence
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
