shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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