Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
