Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
id be glad to
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
