So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
