GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
