you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
