Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
