This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
