Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
