so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You're like the curious george of whores
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
