Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
