there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
