went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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