Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
