How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
