So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
