i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
