Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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