So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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