Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
