i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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