I just cut my nipple shaving
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
