keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
