As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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