this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
