I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
