I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize