We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
