Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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