Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
