Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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