I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
