He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
