Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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