I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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